This is just a post i am ranting my frustrations/thoughts/feelings..etc.
nothing on my day or whatever. so those unconcerned personnel can just navigate away becuz it will be a damm long post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
im seriously having doubts in this.. serious or not.
if you are not tell me earlier.. if you are den i will be more den happy.
i dont wish to know you are doing that to me.. but if it is i want to know the truth.
i hate to be lied to. its a fact that everyone knows.
i will hate you if i found out the truth..really hate you. (even though i will forgive a period of time)
i rather face the cruel truth even though it hurts.
i really cant phatom what's in ur mind.
sometimes you seem so nice but at times you seem cold.
when i ask you that qn, i am prepared for the ans.
but still, i feel terrible when i know the ans.
my friends and i keep telling myself not to input too much into this.
those who care are protecting me by telling me that, but this is not within my control too.
i really feel insecure, no matter how hard i tried to assure myself.
if i am a gf that you dont wish or cant bring out and show ur friends den whats the point of staying together.
i am not implying anything but thats the impression i get.
some things are not meant to say out straight in the face or directly.
its for you to feel and take action about it.
i keep telling myself nothing will come out of this..but i dont wana giv up.
why?
i dont know.
mayb its becuz i just need someone there for me.. or i dont wana find anymore.
i am not sure what i really want so dont ask me.
i tend to hang on but able to fall in love easily with a new one.
this doesnt mean i dont like the prev just that i choose to push it to the back.
i am fickle..i know that well.
this is why i have so many exs.
having many exs doesnt mean i am cheap or whatever. just that i am able to fall in love faster den others.
i did put in effort in every r/s i have and treat every r/s with importance..regardless how long it last.
but i admit i put in alot alot alot of feelings only for 3 of them.
some people comment that i am so good..have so many exs.
sometimes i think having 1 or 2 ex only is not a bad thing. at least you wont be tired after having so many failed r/s.
having too many r/s will enable one to see more clearly towards guy.. as in choose a good guy?
NO..not at all.
if the guy really want to cheat on you and bent on not letting you find out. you wont be able to find out.. mayb will after you two break up or he told you after awhile. but defnitely not when he cheated on you.
i dont understand why guys want to two-timed? izit really so exciting?
have they not considered that when they two-timed, the girls are the one who will get hurt ultimately?
the guy will be so happy and yaya that he have two girlfriends but the girl's world just revolve around this only guy and put their whole heart in the r/s. if they choose this girl and dump the other one.. they will say sorry (at most) and continue his life with this other girl he choose. the thought that the girl he dumped will be so sad and heartbroken and might have phobia of being two-timed will never cross his mind.
alright not all guys are like that but minority of the guys are.
girls are sensitive beings.
we are able to sense something is wrong in the r/s we are in.
why cook up lies to cover for that only wrong that you commit. if you admit, we will be angry at you for 1 or 2 days. but if you choose to cover up, we will be hurt if we find out. why make ur gf feel hurt when letting her get angry will be a better choice (out of those two).
lies will make ur gf feel unsure whether they should trust you again.
i encountered so many lies, backstabbing that i am numb..really numbed.
why i choose to forgive someone that hurt me so badly?
no why.
i just think that so what if you hate that person.. it doesnt do me any good either.
yes, he have really hurt me..very very badly last time but whats done cant be undone.
hate him also have to carry on with my life.. forgive also have to carry on with my life.
i might as well forgive and carry on.. my heart will feel lighter also. a heart filled with hatred will be so heavy. (to me)
i dont understand why nowadays i tend to sink into a state of confusion with regards to r/s.
some things i choose to ignore and keep inside..hoping things will get better.
i really feel like venting everything out but i didnt.
soMickey-ish' ; 12:08 AM ; Comment it!
24/08
went to k-box (amk) with ee gongs dearies..but without hong. haha. before going k-box, we went to eat and play pool becuz 2pm den can go sing sing sing. ahaaaha. had some interesting encounters there. like jia say..those who want lan tao hua can go there see whether you have the luck anoth. hahaa. its been so long since i last sing and really enjoyed myself.
at night went to meet darlin dear..finally get to see him after 2wks of mugging.
25/08
meet pauline for some shopping before she went for her ipp attachment. haha. we went to town and walk ard before meeting med. we went to gelare and slack before i went to jue hse with jac.
i bought one top only. haha. need to find a job.. i am running out of cash liao.
anyone have jobs to intro?
26/08
spend a splendid noon with darlin dear before he meet his friends. ahaha. den went to find jia and help her out. had an encounter there but it means nothing to me. haha.
27/08
stay at hme for the whole day. haha. did nothing much except sleep sleep and sleep. ahaha. read through the basic theory book but nothing went into my mind. ehhe. hopefully i can pass my basic theory test tml.
*i really cant figure out wads in ur mind. i jus hope is nt wad i had in mind. *prayed*
soMickey-ish' ; 11:58 PM ; Comment it!
i am such a obedient girl these 2wks.. been studying and making notes in advance and try memorising. in the past i always memorise the day prior to the exam.
every exam i will always be the first few to go out of the exam hall. its so scary but i did complete my paper la. just find that its no use staying inside.. will keep checking and find more and more mistakes.
8 1/2 hrs later will be my last paper.. looking forward to enjoy myself after that. need to find a job also.. cant be rotting for 11wks ba. hehe.
*good luck..better win more money den i cant eat more belgian choco ice cream. =p
soMickey-ish' ; 12:10 AM ; Comment it!
Please just go away. . stay far from me.
soMickey-ish' ; 2:25 AM ; Comment it!
been mugging hard these few days due to the upcoming exams..making notes for Personal selling and Global Supply Chain. went to toa payoh and school to study on mon and tues respectively. i hate to write notes because it include so many chapters sia. i write till my hand wana break off liao.
13/08
had vegetarian lunch with my gramps near my house here. its been so long since i last saw my gramps.. all the projs and hanging out with my friends took up all my time. *guilty*
after lunch told mommy i wana reborn hair and we go central and ask around for the price. in the end went get to reborn my hair at $110. not much difference lo.. just that my hair is flatter and straighter.. well reborn ma. hahaa. wana go find darlin but in the end went home becuz no one picks up the call. hehee. at night still get to see lalaa.
12/08
meet ee gongs (minus lishi) to celebrate hong bdae.. his exact bdae is 11/08 la. haha.
before meeting them for dinner, i went for my weekly exercise with dearr jia.
we we went to suntec surf and turf for our dinner.. on the way there jia and i bought a choco exotic cake for hong. haha.
the food there are nice.. especially the wild forest mushroom soup. but the waiting time for the food is damm long la. almost make us lose our appetite. ahaha. but the chatting and gossiping makes up for it. hehee. hong say he dont want us to sing the bdae song but we purposely sing very very loud and make him pai sei. haha.
wanted to catch the fireworks but cant make it. acutally wana go esplanade but we keep walking in the wrong directions (mainly my fault) so we went to city link there and took photos..as usual la. ee gongs just adore cam-whoring session. wahaha. hong is the main character but in the end he was the photographer but he love the job.. better than cam-whore with us lo. hahaa. he is camera shy. hehee.
will upoad the photos for the next entry =)
missing my darlin..that idiot disappear liao.. got mahjong forget everything!
soMickey-ish' ; 2:10 AM ; Comment it!
Your sign is River in Chinese Horoscope
Your life is represented by the river of freedom, enjoying your unrestricted lifestyle very much. You like kind and committed people. You are talented, outstanding, smart, agile, and a quick learner with sharp observation, but execution ability is something you need to focus on.
Your characteristics, subconscious, and behavior modes, according to your fate and destiny, are represented by the river. You are born smart with a good learning ability; you have a quick reaction, sharp observation, and good analysis and communication skills. You like to find out the facts and reasons behind everything, and have unique analysis and judgement, but lack execution and action abilities.
The river can be very rough and quickly change directions, so your way of thinking is very active and creative because there are many things you want to do. The river is formed by many streams and eventually flows to the ocean; the water changing forms along the way. Similarly, you adjust yourself to fit the environment with many different identities, regardless of how bad the environment can be. You adjust quickly, but give the impression that you are not sincere with your words, as you always say different things to please different people.
The river flows continuously, hardly slowing down to water the ground, so you have a strong ability to think and plan, but less ability to take action. You have a lot of expectations in life and the ability to improve, but hardly take the necessary actions. You like gentle and kind persons, dislike hypocrites, and admire those who are mature, responsible, trustworthy and keep their words. In your entire life, regardless of the flow or direction, you are always able to keep an innocent, true heart to overcome all kinds of difficulties.
Health Analysis: The function of your nephridium water system is weaker.
According to your destiny analysis, the function of your nephridium water system is weaker. Your physical strength is not as good as others, and you always feel tired and have cold hands and feet in the winter. You have had no major problems when you were young, but over age 40, additional care of your nephridium water system is needed, or it may easily lead to blood pressure, anemia, heart problems and unsmooth periods, or even insomnia, accidie, cranial nerve anemic, hearing problems, kidney problems, urocystitis, urethrits, gynecologic problem, heart and blood vessel problems. Therefore, you should avoid fatigue, maintain a stable and regular lifestyle and schedule, and sleep and wake early in order to protect a congenitally weaker nephridium water system system. Also avoid iced and cold drinks and reduce the frequency of sexual activities in order to maintain good vitality.
There's a saying that all disease starts from the mouth, which means many human diseases are related to food. According to Traditional Chinese Medicine, food can be divided into gold, wood, water, fire and earth (concept of the five elements). You seem to prefer the salty flavors, especially in seasonings, which means your cells are filled with too much water element. This negatively affects your health, fortune and career, so we suggest you try different foods to balance your diet and nutrition, which leads to harmony in life and a balance of yin and yang based on the five elements. In addition, if you have recently felt unlucky or things were not going smoothly, then you are probably affected by bad spirit, which caused bad luck. The best solution is not to eat meat and fish for a period of time until the bad spirit goes away. The bad spirit tends to stay with those who eat meat and fish, and also chicken, duck, green onion, garlic, leek and other spices, so a vegetarian diet can help change your luck.
Health Analysis: The function of your respiratory system is weaker as well.
The function of your respiratory system is weaker as well, and you have had minor problems like allergies, runny nose, cough, cold, chest pain, diarrhea and constipation when you were young. But over age 40, additional care of your respiratory system is needed, or it may lead to nasosinutisis, asthma, bronchopneumonia, bronchitis, intestines polyp and proctitis. Therefore, you should avoid fatigue and smoking, maintain a stable, regular lifestyle and schedule, and sleep and wake early in order to protect a congenitally weaker respiratory system.
According to your destiny analysis, your working and living environment tends to be a bit messy and without good air circulation, which is not good for your respiratory system. You tend to be anxious, lack patience and tolerance, which means you don't get along well with friends.
If you want to change your fate and destiny, breath deeply for five minutes per day, maintain good air circulation, and open a window or door in your room. As long as you have sufficient oxygen in your body, your destiny will be completely changed with better health, more wealth and happiness coming into your life.
The way you get along with your boyfriend or husband is more like friends in an equal position looking for a mutual balance. You have your own territory, friends, and also insist on your own opinions, so some disputes and disagreements are unavoidable.
In romance, according to our analysis, you are easily attracted to someone you admire in your heart, but you often end up empty-handed because you are too shy to go after him. Generally speaking, men do not have deep first impression of you, so they need time to discover your inner beauty. You, however, tend to like a person at the first sight, but not after a period of time. Therefore, if you are still waiting for a good romance, try to show your inner beauty by doing more activities, establishing better habits, and socializing with more people. This way you can express your inner beauty naturally all the time, which makes your romance go more smoothly.
In the journey of life, your romantic or marriage partner might be introduced by relatives and friends, or through matchmaking. You tend to be inexperienced in love, unable to express yourself, and do not know how to actively pursue someone without being too sticky or giving up easily. You have opportunities but are afraid to get hurt, so eventually it is not easy for you to have the spark of love. If you are still seeking your love partner don't rush because someone nearby likes you, so as long as you sincerely give a little hint, the happiness is right beside you.
Career and Wealth Analysis: You know how to make money, but it is not easy for you to hold onto your money.
According to your destiny analysis, you know how to make money, but it is not easy for you to hold onto your money. Your life is more philosophical, so you are not stingy with yourself, family or friends. You spend what you have even when you are financially tight, and are generous when you are financially comfortable. Because of this, it's not easy for you to save your money. In addition, you maybe convinced easily by friends to make some financial investments that cause you to lose money. You like to make many friends, so you easily lose money if you cannot evaluate risk or reject people when they approach you for investment. You will spend most of your wealth doing things you want to do throughout life because you consider only money spent as the wealth actually owned by you. Afterwards, you will bequest most of your wealth to your descendants.Ba Zi Chart
people can try this la. i think that its 90% accurate for me lo. no harm trying.. good luck =)
http://www.superfate.com/22_free_8word/
soMickey-ish' ; 12:18 AM ; Comment it!
i just want a simple r/s where i know i am important.
i dont want to step into the state of confusion simply because of your actions.
you might not think what you do will affect me but it does.
i will try to take it in stride and constantly remind myself so i wont get so bothered.
i will believe whatever you say because i trust you.
dont let the trust be destroyed.
always think twice before you do anything.
sometimes you think that this matter is not important but to me might be vice versa.
i will be as understanding as possible.
but always know there is a limit to everything.
if you cant change i will try to accomodate but dont take it for granted.
sometimes saying sorry wont mend things.
i really cant fathom what's on your mind.
i just want to be a happy dear and not let my darlings n dearr worry.
if the beginning starts too early, i hope the ending wont come so early.
right now i am totally drained out.. seriously drained. give me a good night's rest please.
dont ask questions at all.
BIG THANKS to H for accompanying me just now.. i appreciate the effort =)
HUGS to darling ker for giving me advices n support ;)
KISSES to dearr for being along side with me all these while =]
soMickey-ish' ; 2:19 AM ; Comment it!
life is often filled with uncertainties.. always. i just want all troubles to steer clear of my way and give me a peaceful road to walk on. i dont need alot of friends to be by my side..just a few that i can count on.
nowadays my mind just seem to jump to other stuff on its own. thinking whether i should do this or that. until i can figure out what i really want.. i think i should just keep mum and inhale everything first before deciding what i should exhale out and what i should keep.
a jumbled state im in.. period.
as usual.. i took alot of photos with pauline lala. haha.
soMickey-ish' ; 2:15 AM ; Comment it!
what i want?
exactly what i want?
i miss you.. i really do.
but so what?
haiz. . .
my mind are all jumbled up.
i need time..just time.
i miss my darlings.. i need a talk to help me see the path to take.
thanks dearr for always being there.
#edited#
soMickey-ish' ; 3:19 AM ; Comment it!