[ memories always alongside ]

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

-Sticking to What I Want. . .

have been busy with the event these 2 days.. at least can get my mind off some other stuff.
the event is soo successful today and there are lots of yum yum food. . *drool* i did manage to eat quite alot of food. at least i dont vomit out what i have eaten.

i have been vomiting out the food that i have eaten from fri nite to sun nite. dont have any appetite to eat or fill my stomach with any food even though im having gastric pain.. juat hate the sight of food. make me wana puke.
but now is better le.. i will have to stop torturing myself. im the one who suffer.. no one elses will know and care for me anymore.
has been 4 days since we talked. . really miss him alot alot. i really hate the way things are but what to do. i can only blame myself for everything that happen. i am the one who destroy everything. no matter what i say wont help to mend anything. its all my fault. but my feelings are true. sometimes i really dont understand why i can be so implusive. do things that never go through my brain.
i really just want you back. . nothing more. i know i have hurt you by sending that msg but it doesnt indicate breakup. serious. i dont mean it in that way. i was very pissed that nite. you know temper de.. if i am very pissed , i wont use my brain and think. will just type and send whatever comes to my mind but i will regret later. i also dont know why i am always like that. act without going through my brain. really hate my implusiveness now!
i know you can cope very well without me.. but you also know that i need you. but i know you wont want me back..even if you cool down le rite.
no matter you will call me or msg me.. i wont give up. you should know my character. i like means like.. dont like means dont like. the ring will stil stay on my finger..i wont take it off. to me.. you are still my dear..the one i care and love alot. but to you. . . . . . .

soMickey-ish' ; 4:21 PM ; Comment it!